This report is late, as you can see. Below, I’ll outline why, but chiefly it comes down to this. Despite having a tendency of being a clever fellow, sometimes I lose sight of the most basic and obvious things…right up until the moment that they walk up and smack me upside my head.
That’s pretty much the story of this week. Sometimes, I get so focused on doing the clever thing, that I lose tactical awareness. It’s something I need to work on.
Case in point: I know, having been doing the freelance writing thing for about five years now, that the last few days of each month and the first few days of every new month, I’m super busy. My work load about triples. I’ve mentioned it before.
So…why I choose to schedule a major dental procedure on October 31…I don’t know, except to say that sometimes I can be a total dumbass.
Anyway, let’s dive into the week now and see how it went.
Breakfast: Bag of mixed nuts (675 Calories)
Lunch: Freeze-Dried Mac and Cheese w/ 2 pork chops added (2360 for the bag, 1 serving today, so 472)
Dinner: Mac Cheese and Chop (2 servings) (944 calories)
Half Coffee: 150 calories
It’s cold. I don’t feel good. I haven’t felt good. And I’ve got shit to do. That’s never fun. I bulked up on calories this morning so I could go out and bust up some pallets for Mike. Figure I’ll get a head start on next month’s trade. That way, on the first, I’m already done and can just collect my goodies.
By the time I finished, my hands were already aching. Then I wrote 4k words and had to massage the life back into them by the end of the day. I’m getting old.
Breakfast: Bowl of Chicken Salad (about 150 calories)
Lunch: Finished off the mac, cheese, and chops (944 calories)
Dinner: 1 serving of multigrain cereal (180 calories)
Half Coffee: 150
It only occurred to me as I was eating the last of my mac and cheese and pork, but the version I made is like the vastly superior version of “Canned Evil” which was supposedly noodles, cheese and ham. For some reason, even though my creation is basically the same stuff, it tastes WAY better. Ima probably do that again. Two packs of steaks left, both destined for chili this week, so I’ll be down to pork, chicken and what venison I can hunt or trade for.
Breakfast: Cream of Evil (340 calories)
Lunch: Making another batch of the white bean chili w/2 steaks (2700 for five servings). Ate one, so 540
Dinner: Double dose of white bean chili (1080).
Half coffee: 150 calories
Feeling isolated today. Still don’t feel good, and tomorrow is my big trip to the dentist. Not looking forward to it. Pretty sure it’s going to kick my ass, and of course, it just occurred to me, because I just got a big pile of work dumped on my head that my dental visit is going to knock me out of commission at the exact moment when I need to be going full tilt. Wonderful. I can be such a complete dumbass sometimes. That was horrible planning on my part. I’ve got to do better!
Breakfast: Nothing (getting ready for dentist – eat when I get back)
Lunch: Pop Tart (400)
Dinner: Nothing – slept through dinner
NO COFFEE!!! 0
Yeah – that was brutal. Felt like I was in the chair for hours, but probably not much more than 1.5. Got home and couldn’t feel my face. Felt like roadkill.
Then, the numbing meds off and I could feel my face, and the very first thing I wished was that I couldn’t feel my face.
I feel like my head has been beaten by several burly men armed with chairs, chains and baseball bats. I’m taking some Advil and going to bed. The work will just have to wait.
Breakfast: Fried egg Experiment (270 – see below)
Lunch: Pancake experiment (see below): 580 calories
Dinner: Pancake experiment 2.0 (see below): 580 calories
Half Coffee: 150 calories
I hurt too much to focus, so not much writing today. Which sucks because I need to be writing about 9k words today (and yesterday), which means I’m about 20k words in the hole right now. That’s going to SUCK trying to make it up.
Worry about it later. Right now, I hurt and I’m hungry and my mouth is too sore to eat much of anything, so it’s time to get clever.
I can’t cook. Everyone who knows me knows this. But I can make creative use of the few appliances I’m good with, so let’s focus on the quesadilla maker.
Bet I could use that to fry an egg.
Sure – why not? Let’s give it a go.
Actually…that came out better than I expected. In my post-dental delirium, I forgot to take pictures, but the end result was three triangular shaped fried eggs. Doing that again (and next time, will remember pictures!) Mission accomplished.
For lunch – still hurts to chew…need something soft. Been thinking about all that freeze dried pancake mix I’ve got. Okay…let’s try that in the quesadilla maker too. Same idea as a tortilla, right? ‘Cept a bit fluffier and thicker. Game on.
As usual, Valley recommends about twice too much water, so my first batch had the consistency of raw oysters. Doesn’t matter. I ate ‘em anyway. Pancake flavored oysters. UGH.
Second batch I halved the water and it came out about right. Also mixed a small amount of brown sugar in with the mix. Perfect. Gave them a lightly sweet flavor.
Stumbled over to Mikes to pick up trade goods. Asked if we could substitute something else for the eggs since I’ve got a ton of them right now. Came away with a half empty bottle of maple syrup and a mason jar of sorghum syrup in lieu of the eggs this month. Works for me. I see more pancakes in my future.
Breakfast: Cream of Evil (340 Calories)
Lunch: Bag of Mango Habanero Chili (2850 calories) – 2 servings (1140 calories)
Dinner: 2 servings of chili (1140 calories)
Half Coffee: 150
I seriously love that mango habanero chili, but it burned the FIRE out of my still tender mouth. Don’t care. It’s too good to stop eating. I could get addicted to that stuff.
Still didn’t help me feel any better though. I’m feeling the leading edges of a depression creeping in. Gotta watch that. I think the mountain of work is the main reason. That and the fact that I can’t seem to go more than a couple of days without getting hurt some way or another lately. Bleh.
Anyway, put those two things together and yeah – this is freaking hard. I’m feeling the full weight of the experiment now. Isolated and alone, not feeling well, mired in work I can’t seem to get my arms around and wrestle to the ground. Suckville. I was hoping this week would see me turning a corner, but apparently that’s just not meant to be.
Talk to Sharon on the phone most evenings but she’s got her own stuff going on and who knows when I might get to see her again, so…for the foreseeable future, it’s me, the cats and the mountain.
It’s been bitterly cold and Patches hasn’t wanted to venture out for more sunsets. Me neither for that matter, but I have been taking frequent kitty snuggle breaks to rest my hands and give the Advil time to kick in so my face doesn’t feel like it’s going to fall off.
Breakfast: PB& J (230 calories)
Lunch: 3 servings of apple oatmeal (finished off the bag…I had opened it a while ago to taste test. Delicious). 390 calories
Dinner: last of the mango habanero (570 calories) and a can of corn (70) = 640
Half Coffee 150 calories
Total: 1410 calories
Spent pretty much the entire day writing. Spent pretty much the entire night writing. My hands are screaming. I had hoped to publish the weekly report, but it’s just gonna have to wait. I’ve got nothing left, and next week’s not looking a whole lot better. This experiment is tough, but I’m not sorry I’m doing it. Learning a lot and this week I ate heavily from freeze dried stocks, supplementing here and there. Pretty tasty food, too. I’m digging it. Don’t know if I’ll be saying that in another six or eight months, but…we’ll see. No intention of stopping now.
Should say a few words before I put this one to bed about depression because my mental state is another thing I’m tracking for this experiment.
I’m not sharing these details because I’m looking for sympathy…screw that. Not interested in sympathy, but…it’s important to understand the context, so…here goes.
I’m Bi-polar, with PTSD. Nasty combination. It don’t matter what caused the PTSD, so I won’t go into it. Shit happened. Shit that was bad enough that I’m still carrying it with me most days, all these years later, and you know what? That’s a good thing. I use it as a source of strength. Kind of a dark fuel, but sometimes…sometimes it sucker punches me. That’s what it’s been doing lately.
Sharon tells me I’m…brittle. Not fragile, but brittle. Tough old buzzard, but hit me just the right way and I’ll crack.
Anyway, enough about that. Shit happened. The end.
So…that combined with bi-polar makes me super mindful of my mental state. Depression is no joke, no matter who you are, but that’s like stepping up to the plate with two strikes against you already, so…I’m a little concerned about this feeling of depression. Not worried enough to pull the plug on the experiment, but…gotta do better at fighting it off.
Here’s hoping I do better at that next week.
Stuff I’m Watching and Listening To
Adding a new section. Entertainment is super important, so I figured I’d share what I’m watching and listening to while I’m here on the mountain top by myself.
This week, being the week of Halloween, was all about cheesy horror movies and stuff that I wound up watching as a tradition during this season. That list included things like:
- Alien and Aliens
- The Warriors (original)
- Friday the 13th (just the first one)
- Nightmare on Elm Street (just the first one)
- The Walking Dead (current season, as they come out)
- Zombeavers! (cheesiest horror movie of all time)
- And stuff like that.
No music this week. Will be adding some next week to see if that helps with the depression.
BP: 149/90 (highish again. Blaming the fact that I feel like crap)
Standing trade deals
Just the one. Bust two pallets a month for 2 gals of milk, half a dozen eggs and a venison steak.
Okay – I’m out.