Sharon refers to me as her superhero. She’s even gotten her parents on board with that. Part of me likes it, and part of me is uncomfortable with it.
I’m NOT a superhero. Jesus. That’s a lot of pressure, but in a recent conversation, mostly as a joke, we mapped out my “super powers,” and even my costume, which of course, in my case, is my bigass oilskin duster. Here’s what we came up with on the super power front:
- Impressive strength (note 1)
- Healing factor (note 2)
- Tinkerer (note 3)
- Indomitable Will (note 4)
- Tough Hide (note 5)
- Coconut (deathly allergic! Consider it to be my kryptonite!)
- Cats (my cats are to me what Aunt May is to Spider Man…a villain could kidnap them and use them against me)
- Damage Attractor (this is the offset to the healing factor and tough hide – I’m super unlucky and wind up getting hurt with disturbing frequency)
Note 1: My biggest feat of strength was to catch a refrigerator on a flight of stairs when the guys above me let go of it (moving a friend). I managed to hold it by myself until they could get their hands on it again, but it damaged two discs in my spine)
Note 2: I bounce back from injuries really fast. It’s not supernatural or anything, but it is faster than the norm, so like…twenty steps down from Wolverine.
Note 3: I’m a hobbyist inventor, so…kinda like Batman on a budget 😉 I can invent stuff to help me out of just about any predicament.
Note 4: According to the people who know me, I’m the most stubborn, determined bastard on the planet. Not sure if that counts as a super power per se, but there ya go.
Note 5: Like “The Thing,” I can take a beating. That’s not very glamorous, but it’s not nothing.